‘Sexual Assault’ & ‘Disengaging Online’


TRIGGER WARNING: This account of sexual assault is so stomach turning. Basically a girl on a school campus (that actually has a trail/path nicknamed “the rape trail”, I’m just gonna let that sink in) was accosted by a man who tried to dry hump her, she fought him off and screamed that he had sexually assaulted her a crowd of men gathered and a gentleman ripped off her shirt and fondled her breast while the rest of the guys in the circle cheered. Thankfully she fought her way out of that situation and good on her for speaking out and spreading her story around. 

This really brings up my thoughts on Women and Self-Defense which are basically that I definitely think it’s a very good thing to learn self-defense but we cannot just focusing on that when we discuss rape. We, as a society,  all to often ignore the rapists, their socialization and a culture that allows them to believe that rape is okay and normalized. I fully support training in self-defense but when people just throw that out as a “cure” for rape it angers me because it implies that women should be responsible for rape in some way and takes away the responsibility of the rapist. How about we start punishing rapists like they should be punished? How about we show people that this is not acceptable in any way? Anyway those are just my two cents.

Avalon’s Willow links the attack and the men’s reactions and subsequent attack to the Madonna/Whore complex which is something I hadn’t thought of but makes a whole lot of sense.   


So one of the posts I half wrote yesterday and ended up deleting was about engaging and disengaging with folks. I might revisit it later. It was about how do we decide when someones a troll, when do we not engage, when do we stop giving second chances. Well my friend Bankuei just put out a post, Disengagement Tactics, that touches on some of these issues while discussing ways to limit your interaction with the crazy. One of my favorite parts:

Because, you know, sexist, racist, and heterosexist ideas are totally totally oppressed views these days…(”Man, did you hear? They lynched another straight white guy! Then the cops shot him 50 times. Then he got raped! We’re so silenced, it’s like being invisible! Maybe if we got a white guy in political office, we could change things!”)

Head over and read the whole thing, hilarious and on point.

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4 responses to “‘Sexual Assault’ & ‘Disengaging Online’

  1. Kate Elliott

    Great post, Bankuei. I tried making a comment and it went through but didn’t go through (got a “Done” page but it was blank).

    So anyway, the gist of it was: may I link to that post from my lj blog?

  2. Huh. I didn’t even see it on my moderation cue. Please give it another shot and let me know if wordpress is tripping.

    And yeah, feel free to link.

  3. Yeah, I agree — superb post, Bankuei. Especially that part you quoted, Naamen — brilliant! 😄 If I ever get in an argument with some sexist/racist/etc a**hole on the internet, is it okay if I quote it? Just love it.

    Not that I intend to get into such an argument. I try not to engage with trolls (I’m allergic!), but if I were to I’d love to throw that at them.

  4. Feel free to use it. Stupid know no limit.

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