Previously – Not The Marrying Kind: Statements…
I don’t understand how fighting tooth and claw for inclusion in such a problematic power structure such as marriage is a fight for everyone’s equality. A marginalized group fighting for a bigger piece of the pie rather than the eradication of the system has never led to liberation.
I see that the fight for marriage equality has eclipsed any other cause or issue within the queer community, taking up space and overshadowing any other concern that might exist for members of that community.
I remember when the narrative for the GLBTQ movement was defying traditional white patriarchal heteronormative societal expectations. And the belief that by challenging those notions and creating a new inclusive and welcoming community society itself could be altered. In light of that history it’s hard to reconcile the now constant push to “be normal” and to ostracize or at least hide those who refuse to conform.
I understand that the original push for marriage equality had a strong base of supports from a very select segment of the community – mostly rich, white, men. I understand that this was primarily an outgrowth of the AIDS epidemic and the fear of losing shared or a partner’s property without full legal protection. Note, the fear of loss of property and wealth has always been a fear of the privileged.
I believe that introducing marriage into the queer community has the effect of recreating a hierarchical system within which those who do not ascribe to relationships at all or to alternative forms of relationships – including but not limited to open-, poly or hand-fasting – are further marginalized by the introduction of the “legal” and “correct” way to have a “real” relationship.