Tag Archives: misogyny

Manifesto! 5/5 – Not The Marrying Kind – Statements…The End

I think there’s humor in the hypocrisy of a movement that fights for marriage equality while lauding a film like “Brokeback Mountain” as romantic when the core basis of the film is an extra-marital affair. But it seems being on the down’low is acceptable as long as those engaging in it are white and only betraying women. Although the theme of pretending to be something you’re not fits in quite well with the homogenizing view of the large GLBTQ organizations.

Manifesto! 4/5 – Not The Marrying Kind: Statements…(cont.2)

Previously – Not The Marrying Kind: Statements…(cont.)

I believe that the fierceness and power of the movement has been bled out by the constant focus on marriage equality as the only issue of importance perpetuated by large, wealthy, privileged groups such as GLAAD and the HRC who are looking out for themselves as opposed to the community as a whole.

Manifesto! 3/5 – Not The Marrying Kind: Statements…(cont.)

Previously – Not The Marrying Kind: Statements…

I don’t understand how fighting tooth and claw for inclusion in such a problematic power structure such as marriage is a fight for everyone’s equality. A marginalized group fighting for a bigger piece of the pie rather than the eradication of the system has never led to liberation.

Continue reading

Manifesto! 2/5 – Not The Marrying Kind: Statements…

I understand that marriage is a prison, has a historical basis in silencing women and trading them like pieces of chattel and that a mere fifty years of “change” or transgressive reinterpretations can in no way wipe out a history of oppression and inequality stretching back centuries.

Manifesto! 1/5 – Not The Marrying Kind: Introduction

So both my readings last week went exceptionally well. I got a bunch of compliments on my prose piece and am going to submit it somewhere this week and despite my fear the Manifesto reading went swimmingly. The audience got what I was saying and was whooping and hollering in agreement. In fact after the reading I had a few people come up to me and ask if they could find it online or if it was posted anywhere. I had been on the fence about putting it up online simply because it is pretty radical and the blogosphere is a very different environment than the very radical space I was in for the reading. I’m not up for some of the comments I’ll inevitably get but having folks ask me if they could find it online made me realize that if no one sees or hears a manifesto what is the freaking point?!

So my Manifesto, Not The Marrying Kind will be going up in five parts this week. I’m breaking it up, not to make more posts out of it (or at least not just because of that) but because it’s the way I wrote it – in a series of chunks – and I like the idea of it being experienced in that way. In fact at the reading since we had interruptions from the audience they got it broken into sections as well and I think it worked very well, allowing folks to take in the previous points before moving on. Keep in mind that this is an early iteration of the work and it may grow, shrink, shift during any future re-writes however the core of it will not alter.

Not The Marrying Kind: Intro

Continue reading

Seth Rogan, I Hate You.

So in my post about Adventureland ( “We Don’t Get This” ) there were some comments in the post itself and also in the comments between Kate and I that might have implied that I dislike Seth Rogan. At the time I was talking about Seth Rogan as one of the people that defines a certain genre of film and humor. But today…today I hate Seth Rogan! His new film “Observe & Report”? Apparently it contains a scene where Rogan’s character date rapes a woman intoxicated on high levels of tequila and anti-depressants. She’s so wasted she actually throws up on herself before it happens. But it’s still funny! Why? Well let’s just hear what Seth has to say:

In an interview with the Washington City Paper he states:

SETH ROGEN: When we’re having sex and she’s unconscious like you can literally feel the audience thinking, like, how the fuck are they going to make this okay? Like, what can possibly be said or done that I’m not going to walk out of the movie theater in the next thirty seconds? . . . And then she says, like, the one thing that makes it all okay:
BRANDI: “Why are you stopping, motherfucker?”

Okay that IS NOT consent! When you are so fucked up that you have vomited on yourself you cannot give informed consent! That line could have been about anything, don’t even assume at that point that’s she’s aware of her circumstances in any but the most random way. Trust me, on one or two occasions I’ve been that drunk and I have things I said recalled to me that I am absolutely horrified by and do things I never would have done sober. The argument that Brandi’s line somehow absolves him of raping her? NO! Let’s look at the fact that he never asked for consent before he started to undress her, he was obviously already set on the goal of sex whether she consented or not and nothing was going to stand in his way. The fact that her random ramblings while supremely intoxicated could be imagined to be INFORMED CONSENT allows Rogan’s charater to continue do what he was already doing while having some sort of balm for his guilt. It also allows the audience of mostly misogynistic and immature men to chuckle in public at something society tells them they should be horrified by. They don’t have to have guilt over having a fucked-up racist as a POV character or enjoying that scene because she said that line and that makes it humor! Funny!


Rape is NOT funny! Being violated is NOT a joke! Every time you mock sexual assault you make it more okay in the cultural discourse. It becomes a more acceptable act because after all even girls so fucked up they vomit on themselves want it? right? right?

I had heard that Superbad had it’s share of date-rape jokes which is the main reason I’ve never seen it. This film takes it a step further – not only is it acceptable to mock someones emotional anguish over being assaulted but it’s fine and dandy to perform the act! Fuck you Seth Rogan! Last week I hated you in an amorphous kind of way, now I want to punch you in your mouth!

P.S. We won’t even go into the fact that this scene and the violent rape scene from Last House on the Left made it past the MPAA but any hint of any alternative sexuality and there’s no way to get an R rating – ex. The Bruno film from Sasha Baron Cohen. Conflation, intersection of two mindset – firstly that women and women’s pain does not truly matter and so can be shown and mocked with impunity and secondly that any kind of sex act that GLBTQ people engage in is inherently dirty or sinful.

Hat tip to Jezebel: Is Date Rape Funny? Seth Rogan Explains It All To You

Terminology – Metrosexual

I heard someone called a metrosexual on the street yesterday, in a joking laughing matter and remembered why I hate the term so much. Metrosexual is a supremely gendered term that just goes to reinforce gender roles.

A “metrosexual” is what exactly?

You might be “metrosexual” if:
1. You just can’t walk past a Banana Republic store without making a purchase.
2. You own 20 pairs of shoes, half a dozen pairs of sunglasses, just as many watches and you carry a man-purse.
3. You see a stylist instead of a barber, because barbers don’t do highlights.
4. You can make her lamb shanks and risotto for dinner and Eggs Benedict for breakfast… all from scratch.
5. You only wear Calvin Klein boxer-briefs.
6. You shave more than just your face. You also exfoliate and moisturize.
7. You would never, ever own a pickup truck.
8. You can’t imagine a day without hair styling products.
9. You’d rather drink wine than beer… but you’ll find out what estate and vintage first.
10. Despite being flattered (even proud) that gay guys hit on you, you still find the thought of actually getting intimate with another man truly repulsive.
“Some people think he’s gay, but he’s actually metrosexual.”
-via Urban Dictionary.com

Okay let’s unpack this a little bit. It’s a vile mix of enforcing gender roles, sexism and queerism. And a lot of this ties into the fact that for a lot of men the term metrosexual has taken the form of an attack on their masculinity.

Metrosexuals care about their looks, care about style, have taste and are refined in a general sense. These are trait societally expectedof women. I have many a female friend who can tell you of the horrible interactions they’ve had because they don’t practice hair removal or prefer Pabst to white wine or dress in a casual style all the time. The contempt for men who do these things not only reveals the contempt for these practices in general, practices more associated with women but also attempts to reinforce gender roles by strictly defining certain acts as “womanly” and “manly”. So there’s that. 

The contempt for metrosexuals and use of the term as an insult is a large scale version of schoolyard bullying. “These are things that men don’t do! If you do them you’re weird, not normal.”  The term itself is problematic because it exists at all, it’s main purpose seems to be to create a division between metrosexuals and “real men” who would never think of doing any of that “girly shit”. In addition to this it also acts as a form of protection for metrosexuals. It’s a defense mechanism that can be called in when they are accused of homosexuality, because any deviation from the strict male gender roles obviously must be a symptom of homosexuality but metrosexuality is still better than homosexuality. You can see this clearly in the definition above (#10). In fact almost all the definitions of Metrosexuality at Urban Dictionary contain a reference to homosexuality, usually an insult.

The discussion becomes even more complex when you bring race into it and point out that I’ve never seen anyone not white termed metrosexual, no matter how dressed up, refined or dapper they were. Because on the rare occasions we do get to see a Man of Color dressed up in any way 99.99% of times what is his role? He’s a mobster/gangster/defendant/crooked businessman/yakuza/drug dealer/pimp…you get the point.

So… in one term we have a confusing and intersecting web of misogyny, strict gender roles, queerism and racism. Is it any wonder I hate the term?

Writing Day & Virtuality 7.22.08

Okay so since yesterday I’ve been feeling filled with creative energy so I’m declaring today a Writing Day.
But before I go off to be a creative I have to point out that I’m super pissed at Ron Moore’s new show Virtuality. This is one of the new sf/f shows coming up that I wanted to try out until I read spoilers on io9.com.

Continue reading

Links for Friday 5-02-08

I was gonna write a whole thing for some of these but then decided to just but most of the links out there with a little explanation, unless I get caught up and start to rant.

-Okay, in stupid-ass-lawsuit news citizens of the Greek Island of Lesbos (who are called Lesbians) are suing the GLBT community of Greece to stop them from using the word lesbian because “they claim use of the word in its sexual context violates the human rights of the islanders and causes much embarrassment.” Okay on one hand it’s kind of laughable but yeah not really because what’s the primary assumption this whole thing is working from? The idea that being called a lesbian (in the queer sense) is something that one should be embarrassed about, that it’s something horrifying. It works on the assumption that lesbianism is wrong or unnatural and so being associated with it is something truly disgusting. So all this queerism plus the idea that you get to tell someone how to identify or not identify? Yeah, it’s really not so funny. If the Greek courts do grant this injunction they plaintiffs intend to take this lawsuit international.

– The 21st Carnival of Feminist SF/F Fans is up at Heroine Content. You should go check out all the genius links (and I’m not just saying that ’cause I’m linked to twice) because there are some truly amazing things linked. In fact it took me fifteen minutes to write that last sentence because I kept getting distracted by entries in the carnival. Isn’t that enough of an endorsement to get you to go over there and check it out?

– Yesterday was May Day! and there were protests all over and work stops at ports from San Diego to Seattle in support of immigrants, workers’ rights and against the occupation of Iraq. Couldn’t be at any of the rallies and want to see what it’s like? Well check out the video May Day Mashup a collection of highlights from the L.A. Rally over at Hot Potato Mash. It’s really amazing and powerful.

– Today is Blogging Against Disablism Day! Go check out all the super-cool blog posts and educate yourself on an -ism that’s rarely discussed.  

-Okay most of you know I am not a fan of Orson Scott Card (you’ll also know that’s a bit of an understatement) I find him extremely queerist and misogynistic. A lot of this probably has to do with his Mormonism, there’s also that book he wrote were it’s all about how close-minded and bad liberals are (now I don’t argue there are bad liberals but come on? really?)  Yonmei who back in October ’06 wrote a fantastic five part expose entitled “Dissecting Orson Scott Card” (link goes to first part, link to the next part at bottom) has come back to him with Orson Scott Card is a misogynistic homophobic wanker this time talking about his misogynistic rant against J.K. Rowling where he gets supremely hypocritical and really just…wankery. My favorite part of his crazy is when he takes on J.K. for Dumbledore being gay: What a pretentious, puffed-up coward. When I have a gay character in my fiction, I say so right in the book. I don’t wait until after it has had all its initial sales to mention it.  Not that I haven’t made a similar argument about this issue but coming from Card it’s supremely laughable because yeah they’re gay up front and then they’re horrible castrated or killed or some other supremely depressing circumstances, it’s really a case of pot and kettle. Personally out of the two bad choices I’d rather find out that a character was queer after the fact than know all along and read about horrific things happening to him.  Anyway, go read the post and the comments.

Ladies of GTA Video – What the Fucking-Fuck?

I’m really fucking sick y’all. Like when I inhale it doesn’t feel like I get a full breath sick and so I hope you’ll excuse my inability to go into a full rant on this subject. I want to explicitly state it is not that I’m not outraged but simply that my body is weak and I will be spending the rest of my day doing my work and reading on my breaks to give myself a rest. So in brief –

There’s this video y’see.  (WARNING: Video May Be Triggering In The Extreme)

It’s an ad for the new Grand Theft Auto Video Game IV and it is called the Ladies of Liberty City and you get three guesses as to the only two things these woman are good for within the game. Fucking and Killing. The video is truly horrifying not only because the sex and sexual exploitation is so realistic but because of the intense misogyny laced through it. Women are sex objects who perform in thongs and spank each other for the characters pleasure. There’s some truly hideous imagery where sections of the video titled things like “A Quick Fix” involve the consistent murder of women. The women in the game who are actually sex workers have some pretty explicit car sex with the character and then leave the car only to be run down by the player.

This is all supposed to be funny and fun

There are a lot of issues here; misogyny, racism, sex shaming, validation of all three and encouragemnt of steretypes 

The prevalence of WOC as the sex objects and sex workers in a game that’s mostly marketed at white boys and men

The idea that it’s okay because those killed are sex workers and therefore “expendable”

The linking of violence/murder with sex

The killing of women as a fun activity 

Naming the video the Ladies of Liberty City which implies that that’s all that women are good for.

My breath is running out so I’m gonna leave it there but if you can stomach it I suggest you watch the video and see exactly how this game is being marketed as every homicidal misogynists dream.

If you want to rant on about how this is just a game and to just get over it, yeah I call bullshit (the media is a huge part of our everyday life), also I recommend you go read this post before stepping to me: Suggestions For Talking About Race and Video Games. I’m not saying we all don’t like things that are problematic (in the interest of complete brutal honesty I admit to playing some games in the GTA series before and enjoying them), I guess it’s all about how much your willing to accept along with your fun but for me the ad above goes way to far.